May 2014

Hi all,

I hope you are finding my monthly newsletters thought provoking and a little humorous with significance to both your business and life.

The first article this month shows how easily intent can be lost in translation. While this example is from another language this issue also occurs in our own. It is the same when our body language or actions say something different than that of the words we write or speak. I enjoy helping friends and clients see their company, products and actions from another perspective so don’t be afraid to ask for a second opinion.

Thanks to Les Probert for sending me this fascinating translation from someone travelling in China.

Brilliant Beijing Hotel Brochure – Translated directly, word for word from Mandarin to English


Getting There: Our representative will make you wait at the airport. The bus to the hotel runs along the lakehore. Soon you will feel pleasure in passing water. You will know that you are getting near the hotel, because you will go round the bend. The manager will await you in the entrance hall. He always tries to have intercourse with all new guests.

The Hotel: This is a family hotel, so children are very welcome. We of course are always pleased to accept adultery. Highly skilled nurses are available in the evenings to put down your children. Guests are invited to conjugate in the bar and expose themselves to others. But please note that ladies are not allowed to have babies in the bar. We organise social games, so no guest is ever left alone to play with them self.

The Restaurant: Our menus have been carefully chosen to be ordinary and unexciting. At dinner, our quartet will circulate from table to table, and fiddle with you.

Your Room: Every room has excellent facilities for your private parts. In winter,every room is on heat. Each room has a balcony offering views of outstanding obscenity! You will not be disturbed by traffic noise, since the road between the hotel and the lake is used only by pederasts.

Bed : Your bed has been made in accordance with local tradition. If you have any other ideas please ring for the chambermaid. Please take advantage of her. She will be very pleased to squash your shirts, blouses and underwear. If asked, she will also squeeze your trousers.

Above All : When you leave us at the end of your holiday, you will have no hope. You will struggle to forget it.

Every time I watch this I am totally inspired! Tell me what things you think would make a great video story of New Zealand’s food products and let’s see if we can’t get more NZ stuff like this on the Internet. I want you to try really hard!!! Our target is to identify 20 short videos on NZ food products that are authentically NZ which would endorse our tourism/food export profile.

Thanks Sal Criscillo, Photographic Maestro and good friend for sharing this video clip with me.


Please help with your suggestions and lets get more food videos promoting NZ!

2014 is shaping up to be a great year with many of my clients doing some really exciting things including: launching new products and services, team training, market research and planning new business ventures! Those of you that may need help to get things happening give me a call, I am sure I can help you get a bigger share of the action!


Action plans are a great way of breaking your goals into a series of steps. While I am a fan of good but simple business plans an action plan can be a good scoping tool to get your head around what is required.

Please forward my newsletter on to anyone in the food industry that you know that might get some encouragement or benefit from it. As well as helping them you will be helping me develop a few more contacts across the food industry.

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ebook-gettingeverythingI will finish with a note of encouragement for you to try and read one personal development book every month or two!

I strongly recommend, “Getting Everything You Can Out Of All You’ve Got” By Jay Abraham. This book is a great inspiration for people to do more with less and provides encouragement to us all to realise many of the assets we hold which we may have forgotten about.

My Gift to you
Thinking Differently- over 100 idea starters

I have just released my first E book and for your interest I have gifted you the link to access your very own copy - pass it on to your friends!!!
Simply click on the image to access your copy now!

Mark Collins